Memories
Anniversary Fic



KABOOM!

BAM!

BANG!

SIZZLE!

“Oni! What in God’s name are you doing in there?!” came the voice of the blonde haired girl, raising from her comfortable position on the couch to look towards the direction the sounds were coming from.

“Nothing, Akina!” came a nervous voice from the kitchen. “I am just… uh… making something for us to snack on!” the raven haired girl chimed, popping her head out of the kitchen and giving a sly grin.

“Now, do not bother me! For I have to get back to work!” she waved and ran back into the kitchen, causing the noises to start again.

What on earth is she making in there? the blonde slowly sat back down on the couch, thinking about what her friend could possibly be making in there. Another explosion rattled the house.

“Oopsie!” came Oni’s squeaky voice. Well, whatever it is, I’m definitely not eating it. Akina finalized in her head. She was too lost in her thoughts to even notice the girl sneaking up behind her.

“Sempai!“ the brunette yelled before springing her attack.

“Ah! Rachael!“ before she had time to react, she was knocked off of the couch and pinned to the ground by the glomping brunette.

“Hey there, Sempai!”

“Hiya, Rachael! Ouch… I hit my head off of the coffee table.” both girls laughed as the raven stuck her head out of the kitchen once again.

“Did someone say ‘coffee?’ ” she asked with a hopeful look on her face and an evil glint in her eyes.

“No, Oni.” the two knew better than to answer truthfully. They knew their friend and they knew very well about her little ‘coffee problem.’

“Sama, what are you doin’ in there?” Rachael asked helping the other up off of the floor.

“Nothing! Geeze, what is this, 20 Questions, or something?! I am cooking, so leave me be!” the raven answered, glaring at the other two before stomping back into the kitchen.

“Should I be scared?” Rachael asked, looking towards Akina.

“Don’t know about you, but I am.” she smiled and offered the girl a seat beside her.

After about another twenty minutes of explosions and the smoke detector being set off, the raven finally came out with a huge smile on her face. “It is finished!”

The two jumped off of the couch and ran over to where their friend stood, with her hands behind her back.

“Well, what is it, Sama?” Rachael asked excitedly.

“Yeah Oni, what is it?” Akina chirped enthusiastically.

Oni smile grew wider as she pulled the bowl of… stuff out from behind her and presented it to her friends.

“Um… what the hell is that?” Rachael squeaked, holding back her laughter and pointing at the substance in the bowl. Akina laid on the ground, passed out from the toxic fumes.

“What do you think it is? It’s pudding!” Oni said proudly. Rachael fell to the ground laughing, kicking Akina in the side, effectively bringing her back to consciousness, as they both rolled on the floor with laughter.

“What is so funny?” Oni said indignantly, staring down at her pudding, which bubbled back at her.

“That stuff isn’t pudding, it’s toxic waste!” Akina choked out between giggles, banging her fist against the floor.

“You’ll scare away small children with that stuff, Sama!” Rachael gasped for air, holding her sides tightly.

“Shut up! It isn’t that bad!” she glared at the two, before grabbing a spoon and taking a spoonful and shoving it into her mouth. “See, it is perfectly fin-” she stopped mid-sentence, gagging a little, “Oh shit, I’ll be right back!” she yelled, running for the bathroom, which sent Rachael and Akina into a new fit of giggles.

After the two calmed down, both girls sat back down on the couch, and got comfortable, waiting for their other friend. Oni came back in, holding her stomach. “Shut up.” she hissed at them both, who caught their laughter in their throats as the raven sat down in the middle of the two. They sat there, silently, watching the fire crackle and spit.

“Hey, do you know what this reminds me of?” Rachael asked, looking over at the other two.

“Hm?” They both mused, still staring at the blazing fire.

“When we first became friends. Do you remember that? It was a year ago.” she laughed inwardly, reminiscing quietly to herself.

“Oh yeah, Akina’s story!” Oni laughed, remembering all of the things that happened in that one, wild, and wacky Christmas story.

“Do you remember, Sempai?” the brunette asked, turning her head to look at the blonde.

“How could I not?” she giggled, turning back to the fire. “But, how does this remind you of that?”

“Think back, surely you remember that one song…” Rachael snorted, shoving Oni playfully, making the other giggle, remembering exactly what song the brunette was talking about.


Flashback

Akina/Oni/Rachael: Sakura roasting on an open fire
Gaara nipping at your nose
Fucked up carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Emos

Naruto/Gaara/Sasuke: Everybody knows a turkey and some
Mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

Kakashi/Iruka: They know that Santa's on his way
He's bringing lots of toys and goodies
On his sleigh

Temari/Kankuro: And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

Jiraiya/Tsunade/Orochimaru/Yondaime: And so I'm offering this simple wish
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times,
Many ways

All: Merry Christmas to you

Sasuke: That was gay.*steps closer to Naruto*
Rachael: No your gay.
Gaara: Back off Uchiha!
Naruto: I don’t like that look in his eye.
Akina/Oni/Rachael:*pulls out chainsaw*
Akina: I’ll take his arm.
Oni: I’ll get his leg.
Rachael: I get his head.
Sasuke: Meep! *runs away* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Akina/Oni/Rachael: *comes back all bloody*
Rachael: I love our Sasuke hating stories.
Oni: What do we do now?
Akina: Lets kill Sakura.
Rachael: To late. *points at extra crispy Sakura over the fire*
Akina/Oni: Damn.
Rachael: *pulls Shikamaru and Lee out of nowhere* We can still kill Lee and watch Ino and Temari fight over Shikamaru.
Akina and Oni: Perfect.


End of Flashback


“Heh, oh yeah… how could I forget that one?” the blonde chuckled, imagining Sakura actually being cooked over their fire.

“Man, we sure had a lot of fun torturing Sakura and Sasuke.” Oni laughed, snuggling into her favorite Gaara blanket.

“Not just those two, but almost everyone. We called ourselves something… what was it again?” Akina racked her brain before finally turning to Rachael.

“The Terrible Three.” the brunette gave an evil grin.

“Oh yeah! The Terrible Three! That’s what we were called! Good times, good times…” all three sighed, reminiscing about the past.

“Bored now!” Oni groaned, grabbing the remote for the TV and turning it on, surfing through the channels to find something to watch.

“Stop! I love this movie!” Akina squeaked, when Oni found one of Akina’s favorite Christmas movies, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

“You only like it because some innocent person gets run over for no reason.” Oni stared at the giddy blonde.

“So? I find it funny!” Akina retorted indignantly.

“It is rather funny, Sama…” Rachael nodded in agreement with her sempai, making Akina childishly stick out her tongue at the raven who just huffed and put down the clicker.

“Boy, this brings back a memory.” Oni chuckled, fluffing up her flattened pillow.

“Huh?” both Rachael and Akina turned their heads to look at the raven.

“What do you mean, Sama?” Rachael asked, cocking her head to the side.

“You mean, you don’t remember… that?” Oni giggled at the annoyed look on Rachael’s face.

“If I remembered it, Oni, I wouldn’t be asking you!” she huffed, throwing her pillow at the raven haired girl’s head, effectively hitting her square in the face.

“Ugh, the song we did! Remember it? Sasuke Got Run Over By A Ninja!” Oni chuckled at the memory. Both the blonde and the brunette had confused looks on their faces.

“Think back…” Oni sighed, clunking both of them on the head.


Flashback

Oni: Ok, Naruto! Start us off!
Naruto: Right!
Sasuke got run over by a ninja,
Walking home from the academy Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Itachi,
But as for me and Sakura, we believe.

Sasuke: Itachi shall die and so will you…
Sakura: Sasuke-kun! Nooo!

Naruto: He'd been drinkin' too much eggnog,
And we'd begged him not to go.
But he'd forgot his medication,
So he stumbled out the door in the snow.

Naruto: See I always knew he took meds!
Sasuke: Damn you dobe!

Oni: When they found him Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were poke marks on his forehead,
And incriminatin' burn marks on his back.

Naruto: Joy to the world Saskue’s dead! Itachi poked his head!
Itachi: Foolish little brother
Sasuke: *lunges at Itachi and misses horribly*

Rachael: Sasuke got run over by a ninja,
Walkin' home from the academy Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Itachi,
But as for me and Sakura, we believe.

Sakura: How could Sasuke-kun die? Naruto this is all your fault! *cracks knuckles*
Naruto: Meep!

Akina: Now were all so proud of Sakura,
She's been takin' this so well, oh.
See her in there watchin' shogi,
Drinkin' beer and playin' go with cousin Ino.

Ino: I don't play go
Oni: Yes, you do *glares*
Ino: Meep!
Tsunade: Where'd the liquor go?

Naruto: It's not Christmas without Sasuke.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up his gifts or send them back?

Itachi: The family is dead and I always wear black…
Naruto: Whatever, I just want his stuff!
Sasuke: I hate you all. *twitch*

Sakura: Sasuke got run over by a ninja,
Walkin' home from the academy Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Itachi,
But as for me and Sakura, we believe.

Oni: Yay! We got through a verse without an interruption! Oh wait...damn it! *curses*

Rachael: Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Sasuke's wig.

Oni: Bet you all didn't know he wore a wig!
Sasuke: It's not a damn wig! It’s just spoofy!
Oni: *eye roll* Right spoofy, yeah…

Akina: I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with sharks.

Itachi: I do not 'play' with Kisame *ahem*
Kisame: I'm not a damn shark or Itachi's toy!
Oni: Right, you're not a shark...and you don't 'play' *winks* I got ‘cha… *runs*
Itachi and Kisame: Get back here!

Oni: Sasuke got run over by a ninja,
Walkin' home from the academy Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Itachi,
But as for me and Sakura, we believe.

Naruto: Yay! Sasuke is dead!
Sakura: Nar-uto! *chases*
Naruto: Meep!

Everyone: Sasuke got run over by a ninja,
Walkin' home from the academy Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Itachi,
But as for me and Sakura, we believe!

Oni: Well that’s done! Lets see the chaos that has issued!

--Sasuke is dead and twitching--
--Naruto is running from a pissed Sakura--
--Ino is hiding--
--Tsunade...still looking for her liquor--
--Itachi and Kisame...still chasing Oni--

Oni: *looks at last part* CRAP! *runs screaming saying something about losing katana in a very bloody snowball fight*


End of Flashback

“Sasuke Got Run Over By A Ninja~” both the brunette and blonde were singing loudly, making the other put a pillow over her head.

“You two need singing lessons!” Oni screamed over top of them, they answered back by pushing her off of the couch and onto the cold floor.

“REVENGE!” screamed the blonde. The other two froze and stared at her, unsure of way she caused such an outburst.

“Um, Akina… what the hell was that?” Oni coughed, thinking her friend had finally lost it.

“You don’t remember?!” gasped the blonde girl, as she jumped up and stood in front of the other two. “When Sasuke-teme tried to get revenge on us for making him look bad in every song!”

“Oh yeah! I remember that!” Rachael laughed, hugging her blonde friend. “Oni, do you remember?”

“I think… wait, lemme think…”


Flashback

Sasuke: All right you deranged physcos! It's pay back! Ready to sing your song?
Oni: I'll say we are! *death glare*
Akina: Yeah!
Rachael: Let's sing it and get this over with!
Sasuke: Okay, Akina?
Akina: *grumbles*
Sasuke: Okay, Rachael?
Rachel: Whatever.
Sasuke: Okay, Oni-Chan? Oni-Chan? ONI-CHAN!
Oni: OKAY YOU DAMN EMO!!!

Terrible Three:
Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast

Rachael:
Want a bomber plane that loops the loop

Oni:
Me, I want a hula hoop

Akina:
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Sasuke: Okay crazies get ready. That was very good, Akina!
Akina: Naturally.
Sasuke: Very good Rachael!
Rachael: Mhm…
Sasuke: Ah, Oni-Chan, you were a little flat, watch it. Ah, Oni-Chan. Oni-Chan. ONI-CHAN!
Oni: GO DIE!

Rachael:
Want a plane that loops the loop

Oni-Chan:
I still want a hula hoop

Akina:
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Terrible Three:
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Sasuke-: Very good, crazy girls!
Rachael: Lets sing it again! Yeah, lets sing it again! *spins around happily*
Sasuke: No, that's enough. Lets not overdo it. *worried look* Gawd its not good for me when they're happy
Oni: What do you mean overdo it? *evil eye squint*
Akina: We want to sing it again! *tantrum jump up and down*
Sasuke: Now wait a minute, girls…
Terrible Three: *evil crazy eye glint*
Sasuke: Oni, drop the flame thrower…Rachael, just a minute with that pepper spray and hatchet combo... Akina will you cut that out...? Shit bad choice of words for the katana wielder *gulps* Girls...

Kimi & Kaida & Mayu & Akina- This portion has been edited out due to extreme violence and mayhem never before caused by our Masters. Please excuse us as their violence is now over.

Sasuke: *an unidentifiable bloody heap on the floor*
Akina: Well that was fun. *smiles at katana*
Rachael: What pepper spray can do to a persons insides. *happy memory moment*
Oni: Things go WOOSH in BIG fire! *evil cackle and sets fire into the sky*

Terrible Three: Happy Holidays!


End of Flashback


The raven collapsed on the floor in a renewed set of giggles. “Things go WOOSH in BIG fire!” Oni cackled, grabbing her aching sides.

“I take it she remembers.” the blonde noted, watching the raven flail around on the floor. Akina glanced over at her now quieted friend. “What’s wrong, Kohai?”
  
“Huh, oh, nothing. I was just thinking of something…” the brunette murmured, playing with the end of her blanket.

“Thinking of what?” Oni asked, tilting her head to the side, finally done giggling.

“Ni.” Rachael looked over at the two and smirked.

“Ni!” Oni squealed, doubling over again.

“Ni?” Akina raised an eyebrow, not getting what was so funny.

“Ni, Akina! Ni!” they both shouted at the confused blonde.

“Yeah, still don’t get it…”

“Come on, you have to remember Ni!” Oni laughed, nudging Rachael who laughed along with her.

“Hmm…” Akina pondered quietly, trying to remember who this ’Ni’ person was.


Flashback


Sasuke: Naruto, the blonde-haired ninja
had very beautiful eyes.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say they glow.

Ni: All of the other ninja
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Naruto
join in any ninja games.

Akina/Oni: Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Tsunade came to say:
"Naruto with your rasengan so bright,
won't you guide my raid tonight?"

Rachael/Akina/Oni: I’m not singing for that wench!

Sasuke/Ni: Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Naruto the blonde-haired ninja,
you'll go down in history!

Mayu: *dials number*starts to fake cry* I...Itachi-k...un.

- AT AKAKTSUKI HEADQUARTERS -

Itachi: Mayu-sama, what’s wrong? *pauses* WHAT?!?! *runs towards door*
Deidara: What’s wrong, un?
Itachi: Ni joined Sasuke and has everyone held captive!
Deidara: What, un?!?!?

BACK AT SHOW

Mayu: *smears dirt on Akina’s face and punches her*
Akina: What the hell?!
Mayu: Itachi-kun and Deidara-san are coming and we have to look hurt.
Akina: Ohhhhh. *does same thing to Mayu*
Itachi/Deidara: *runs in angry*looks at Mayu and Akina on the floor fake crying* Your so going to pay for that!
Sasuke/Ni: We didn’t do anything, sear.
Itachi: As if we’re going to believe you 2. *pulls out some of Mayu’s kitty bombs*
*all hell breaks loose*
Mayu: *kisses Itachi*
Akina: *kisses Deidara*
Itachi/Deidara: O///O

Oni: I’ve got the cookies and donuts!!! *looks around* I step out for 5 seconds and miss every thing! Damn!! *hands out the snacks* I get to close it off at least, Merry Christmas to all of you who were lucky to see this.


End of Flashback


“Ni… yep, I remember now! The traitor!” the blonde jumped up from the couch, but tripped gracelessly over the raven’s foot, causing her to topple on to both of them.

All three girls laid together on the floor laughing until their throats were sore and until their sides couldn‘t take anymore.

“You two are the best.” the blonde smiled at both, hugging them tightly. “And now… it is time… for… CONFETTI GUNS!”

“NO!!!! SEMPAI!!!” Rachael screamed, ducking under the couch, while the two other girls ran into the other room and came back out with super-loaded confetti guns.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” yelled the blonde, blasting her gun off.

“AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!” screamed the other, blasting her gun off as well.

“DAMN IT, YOU TWO!” came Rachael’s voice from underneath the couch.


As for the rest of the night, they spent it blowing confetti everywhere, singing carols, plotting ways to kill Sasuke and Sakura, and ultimately destroying Akina‘s house. By morning, all she had left was… well… Oni’s toxic pudding, which never got eaten. ( Thank God! )